8 Tough Questions You Might Be Asked When You Get Engaged and How to Deal With Them

‘Congratulations!’ is the most agreeable response from your loved ones when they hear your engagement news, however, we all know that along with the happy tears and celebratory fizz you may also be met with some slightly uncomfortable questions that you had not already considered. So, just to make those interactions run a little more smoothly, we have put together a list of 8 tough questions you might be asked when you get engaged and how to deal with them. So that as soon as your partner pops the question you can be ready with a polite comeback for any awkward situations that might arise.

1. Am I invited to the wedding?

Ok, so this can be a tough one, especially if you know that your wedding is likely to be an intimate occasion with only close family and friends being invited. If you are having a smaller wedding (or you would like to politely let them down) you can always respond with something like, ‘I wish we could invite everyone, but we have had to keep numbers small.’ Let them know that you care about them, but that it may not be possible for them to attend. You really shouldn’t have to go into too much detail, it is your special day, and the right people will be happy for you whatever the guestlist looks like.

2. Am I your best man / maid of honour?

Of course no one intentionally wants to upset anyone in regards to the wedding plans so letting your close friends and family know how much you care about them and making them feel welcome to your wedding is the most essential element of dealing with this tough question. Being honest but considerate is a good balance to maintain, so if you had already chosen your maid of honour or best man simply be truthful and explain that you had always wanted X to take that role within your wedding. You could give that person a different key role in the day that they would both enjoy and be great at, to make them feel a crucial part of your wedding. Why not ask them to help you set up, or do a reading in the ceremony? There are a number of ways to include special people in the proceedings that aren't necessarily a traditional best man / maid of honour role.

3. Can I bring my children?

We would recommend deciding early on if you’re having a child-free wedding or not. That way you can be clear with your guests whilst giving them enough time to arrange childcare if needed. If you would like children to attend you might consider some activities for them, or even arrange a nanny to be on site to give the parents some respite. Some parents may love the opportunity to have a child-free day/evening and even though children at weddings can be a delicate issue, simply be tactful in your response and parents will welcome your honesty.

4. Can I make your cake / dress / bouquet?

We all love and truly appreciate support on our special day and these helpful gestures can be sentimental too, but if you already have your eye on a show-stopping, professional three-tier wedding cake there is absolutely nothing wrong with politely declining even the kindest of offers. Your guest may have felt that they could use their skills to contribute to the day, but whilst you don’t need to justify yourselves, just explain that as kind as the gesture is, you would prefer them to enjoy the wedding without any added pressure, or that you have already found and secured your dream cake.

5. What is your wedding budget?

Yep, you could even get asked this personal question! As cheeky as this seems, wedding budgets can be a mysterious and intriguing thing so one day someone might ask what yours is! Your response can be as vague as possible but answering with a smile will probably help. ‘I have no idea!’ may be a good place to start. No one should feel pressured to disclose their finances if they don’t want to, so answer in any polite way you feel comfortable with - they should already know it’s a sensitive subject to broach.

6. When are you having children?

Times have changed and couples getting married may not be thinking about having children just yet or know they can’t or don’t want children at all. Even if you are a couple who are planning for children in the future, this is a very personal question, and you shouldn’t feel obliged to answer. If you feel like being honest, go ahead, but if you feel it is a little uncomfortable your response can be a simple, ‘Not a clue!’ These are delicate subjects and as a newly-engaged couple this could be a tough one to navigate. A smile and a simple non-explanatory response will get you far!

7. How much was the ring?

People love to be nosy (as we all do at times!) but don’t feel that you need to respond to any questions surrounding the finances of your engagement and impending wedding. A classic, ‘I can’t remember!’ should suffice but also being honest and saying that you wouldn’t really like to discuss that is also acceptable. What you or your partner may have spent on a ring is between you and your partner. Others should accept what a beautiful gesture this was and how happy they are for you both regardless.

8. Can I bring a plus one?

When creating your wedding invitations, it may be best to set out clearly from the start if you are happy for guests to bring a plus one or if not by simply only writing their name/s on the invitation. There could, however, still be guests who would like to bring a plus one. Explaining that unfortunately budget and venue restrictions mean that you can’t add plus ones should be a completely valid reason for your guest and hopefully they will understand. Explaining that you are looking forward to seeing them will also make them feel more welcome and comfortable to join in on your special day, with or without someone extra by their side. Using a platform like Say I do will mean only named guests (by you) or explicit plus ones (again, added by you) can RSVP so you may not need to have this awkward conversation at all!

Whatever tough questions come your way, managing them with a smile and keeping things light-hearted will help reduce any stress. Let’s face it, it’s your day, and you can plan and arrange your wedding to suit your wishes. Good luck!