How To Reduce Your Guest List And Who Should Get A Plus One

We're not going to sugarcoat this: guest lists can be a tricky part of wedding planning to navigate, especially if you're over your guest count (very easily done). Today, we will help you get to that magic number, even if it means making a few awkward decisions along the way. Trust us, you'll get there in the end and move on to more fun parts of wedding planning before you know it! We'll also talk you through plus ones and who should get one, so if you're unsure how to trim your guest list down and who's plus one to invite or not, stick with us as we guide you through this process as smoothly as possible!

First up, understand your wedding guest list

It is really important to determine the size of your wedding guest list based on your budget AND wedding venue capacity, so you know how many people you can invite. Consider the type of wedding day you want to host (an intimate wedding, a large celebration, or somewhere in between), and ensure that the venue aligns with your numbers. Firstly, you should check with the venue that they can hold the number of guests you want to invite before getting too excited about a specific space, but it's also essential to remember, if you're opting to have a small, intimate celebration, that you find a venue to match. Otherwise, you'll be swimming in space and risk losing that intimate celebration you hoped for.

Creating your guest list

So, now that you've got a number in mind that you can afford and your venue can comfortably accommodate you, you should be at the stage of writing your guest list. As a starting point, think about who you absolutely need and want to invite (family members, close friends, etc.) and work out from there.

Next, identify your distant relatives (aunts, uncles, cousins) before moving on to friends and colleagues. It's a good idea to separate out your top-tier guests, identify the people you can't imagine getting married without and highlight them on your list---you could even rank guests within each category by priority if that helps. Start with must-invite guests (A-list) and move to those you would like to invite if space and budget allow (B-list). Depending on the celebration you're hosting, you may be able to include another wave of guests in the evening reception, in which case any guests that you were unsure about inviting (work colleagues, distant relatives, etc.) inviting them to the evening reception can be the perfect compromise.

Wedding plus one etiquette

Determining who should get a plus-one for a wedding can be a delicate task, as it often involves balancing your budget, venue capacity, and relationships with your guests. Here are some general guidelines to help decide who should get a plus-one to your big day.

• Immediate family: Typically, immediate family members (parents, siblings) are allowed to bring a guest, especially if they are unmarried or in a serious relationship.

• Wedding party: Members of the wedding party, including bridesmaids and groomsmen, are usually given a plus-one as a courtesy for their involvement and support in the wedding.

• Engaged, married, or cohabiting couples: Guests who are engaged, married, or living together should generally be allowed to bring their significant other.

• Long-term relationships: Consider granting a plus-one to guests in long-term, committed relationships (typically dating for a year or more), even if they are not living together or engaged.

• Out-of-town guests: If someone travels far, it is often a nice touch to allow them to bring a plus-one for company during the trip.

• Guests who may not know many people: If a guest will not know many other guests, giving them a plus-one can help them feel more comfortable and enjoy the event.

• Guests with special roles: If a guest has a special role or connection to the couple, offering a plus-one can be a nice gesture.

• Budget and venue capacity: Always consider your budget and the capacity of your venue. If you have limited space or budget, it is okay to restrict plus-ones to only the most necessary situations.

• Communication: Clearly communicate your plus-one policy on the wedding invitations. This can be done by addressing the invitation to the specific person and their guest or by stating the policy on your wedding website.

• Consistency: Whatever policy you decide on, apply it consistently to avoid hurt feelings or misunderstandings. For instance, if you decide that only married or engaged couples get a plus-one, apply that rule to everyone.

The joy of using a wedding website

If you've chosen to create a wedding website on a platform such as Say I do and are planning to send out digital wedding invitations, you'll benefit from the handy RSVP feature, which, once in full swing, you'll wonder how you ever managed without it! Once your digital invites go out and your wedding guests start to RSVP, the system monitors responses as they come in. They'll then all be in one handy place, so you can see how many guests are left to reply, and you can simply set automatic reminders to follow up with those pesky late responders! We also offer additional features, such as being able to import your guest list; this can be a valuable and time-saving addition. From here, you can then start to collate personal details and create a seating plan.

Finalising your wedding guest list

• Stay organised: To ensure that everything goes smoothly and that no detail is overlooked, it's essential to stay organised and methodical throughout the guest list process. Start by setting periodic dates to review your guest list. This helps keep everything accurate and up-to-date. It's easy to forget a name or miss an email address, so scheduling regular checkpoints ensures that nothing falls through the cracks.

• Cross-check information: Verify all names and other details for correctness. It's better to catch and correct errors early than to have issues with invitations later. Double-checking information also helps prevent embarrassing mistakes like misspelling a guest's name.

• Communicate, communicate, communicate! Ensure that your partner, parents, and anyone else involved in the planning are kept in the loop and agree on any adjustments. Clear communication can prevent misunderstandings and ensure everyone is on the same page regarding who is invited.

• A and B-list: If you receive more declines than expected, consider inviting additional guests from your B-list. Following up politely with invited guests who haven't responded by the RSVP deadline is also essential to get an accurate headcount.

• Handle changes and updates: Be prepared to make adjustments due to unforeseen circumstances, such as changes in guests' relationships or personal situations. The key is to keep your list flexible and update it regularly as you receive new information. This way, you can make necessary changes without causing too much disruption.